From 45 Minutes of Meditation to an Existential Question About Sev
So here's the deal.
I wake up feeling like I haven't slept at all, only to look at my Apple Watch proudly informing me, “Well done! You scored 95 on your sleep score today!”
Hmm. I'm not entirely convinced though!
With two dogs on the bed: Lily (obviously) and her new friend Timmy, who’s staying with us for ten days while his parents are away. I’m not sure which one is lying, my Apple Watch or my back!
I drink my coffee, take a shower, and head to the studio.
Two classes on the schedule today. The usual crazy 90 mins of Rocket-inspired Yoga at 10:30 am, and the earlier free silent meditation class I only started about two months ago as seva. A small way of serving the community, but also sharing something that genuinely changed my life.
Meditation, alongside my yoga practice, has worked absolute miracles on my mental health, anxiety, stress, and all the other delightful things that seem to come free with modern adulthood.
Honestly, I am a different person.
Despite practising yoga for nearly 15 years, I can genuinely admit that for most of that time I wasn't entirely sure what progress was supposed to look like. Or what the goal even was.
I just kept turning up. Partly out of habit, partly out of faith that one day I'd understand.
It was only when I started coming to Deep Yoga (I know I’m starting to sound biased, but I promise I'm not being held hostage to write this) that I started seeing progress. Only when I met Steven did I become intrigued by all the philosophy stuff. I started reading, which is saying something because before that I'd happily spent 15 years just turning up, sweating, and hoping enlightenment would somehow happen by accident.
It's not like I suddenly decided to follow every yogic teaching. But it started to grow on me naturally. Some of it just made sense. Some of it may have reflected values I'd always had but never really thought about.
Steven, along with all the experienced teachers at Deep (don't roll your eyes, this really isn't biased), created a space where it felt safe to try new things and fail spectacularly.
Which was fortunate, because I have failed at quite a lot of things over the years. Falling out of postures, getting completely confused by transitions, attempting things I definitely wasn't ready for, and discovering muscles I didn't know existed the following morning.
But that's the beauty of the place. Nobody is keeping score. Nobody is standing there with a clipboard judging your performance. You're simply encouraged to have a go.
Because honestly, if you never try, you'll never know. And occasionally, after enough failed attempts, you end up doing something you never imagined possible.
That also applies to meditation.
When Steven first told me I needed to meditate, I was sceptical.
Very sceptical.
The idea of sitting still with my own thoughts sounded less like wellbeing and more like a punishment.
I started with three minutes. About ninety seconds in, I opened one eye and asked: "Are we done yet?"
Three minutes felt like an eternity. I was expecting some sort of mystical experience. A flash of wisdom. Maybe a profound insight into the meaning of life. Instead, I mostly thought about food.
Fast forward a few years, and I'm now voluntarily sitting in silence for 45 minutes and even convincing other people to join me. Life comes at you fast 😅.
Well... mostly.
I have to admit that while I was “observing my thoughts,” I was also counting them. There were three.
The first was the obvious one: What am I cooking for dinner tonight?
The second: What am I writing for today's blog?
And the third: Am I doing enough Seva?
As a yogi (we’ve discussed this before … and yes, I'm happy to call myself a yogi now. If you object, please speak now or forever hold your peace), I started wondering:
Should I add another free meditation class?
Should I teach for free more often?
Oh no.
This thought has the potential to become a full-scale TED Talk. Better get back to the breath. And posture. And my precious, precious meditation practice.
But now that meditation is done, the Rocket-inspired class has been taught, I’ve practised for my aerial yoga teaching exam, and somehow ended up at IKEA again (at this point IKEA should offer me a loyalty scheme), I'm finally sitting at my kitchen table writing this blog.
As the day is winding down (I know it's only 4:00 pm, but my Sunday to-do list strongly disagrees), I'm going to leave you with this question.
What is seva, and how can we live by it?
But first, let's make sure we're talking about the same thing. What exactly is seva?
In yogic philosophy, seva means selfless service. It is the practice of offering your time, energy, skills, or resources for the benefit of others without expecting recognition, reward, or anything in return.
Seva is closely linked to karma yoga, the yoga of action, described in the Bhagavad Gita as acting without attachment to the fruits of our actions (Bhagavad Gita 2:47).
But the more I read about seva, the more I realise it's surprisingly difficult to define.
Is it teaching a free class? Is it volunteering? Is it giving money? Is it giving time? Is it simply showing up for people when they need you?
I genuinely don't know if there's one right answer.
Well... Steven probably does. In fact, if I ask him, he'll likely give me a short, simple answer while I'm over here writing 1,500 words about it.🤦♀️
A Few Thoughts on Seva From Teachers Way Wiser Than Me
"In this age of selfishness, selfless service is the only soap that truly purifies."
Amma (Mata Amritanandamayi).
Amma (Mata Amritanandamayi).
As it’s now approaching 5:00 pm and I’ve still got to finish my to-do list before walking Lily and Timmy, I’ll leave you with two questions.
- What does seva mean to you?
Not according to a book. Not according to a guru. Not according to yogic philosophy. According to you.
- How do we know when service is truly selfless?
This question is for both of us; if I get many messages from you, maybe I'll explore it in next week's blog.
If we're serving because it makes us feel good, look good, or be seen as good... Is it still seva?
See you next week.
Dr Hind Elhinnawy